It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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