I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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