so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
