remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
