At least make sure they are 18
Why
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Life is so much better after having sex.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
