Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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