Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
