Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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