I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
