Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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