awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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