Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
