So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
