I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We left an ass print on the piano.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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