I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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