that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
