WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
