yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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