Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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