Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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