i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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