i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
