Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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