We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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