Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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