Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
