i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
