whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
