Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize