We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
high people should be assigned attendants
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
