Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
barbara walters just said penis...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
