i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
