YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
