I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
