yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
