where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
