do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
