So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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