i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
