White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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