Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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