Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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