If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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