R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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