i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
