eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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