Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
