How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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