also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
