You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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